Black and Blue

For the one whose three-year-old picture I carried in my purse all these years, because I couldn’t imagine my future son looking like anyone else—a smaller version of you.

Silly boy, you never understood,

The questions I asked, the ones you ignored,

Why couldn't you see, why couldn't you hear?

How I bled inside, drowning in my own fear.

You painted me with lies, you spat on my soul,

While I tried to show you, I was never that cold.

My heart is shattered, and the pain is deep,

How do I carry on when I can't even sleep?

How do I live with this weight in my chest,

Knowing you can't see my truth, can’t see me at my best?

I never did what you think, never hurt you that way,

But still, based on that, you stabbed me deep for real.

Perhaps it's because you never paid attention to what was important to me,

The things I'd say.

And now, there's no way to undo that wound,

No time to go back, no moment to mend,

Maybe one day, you'll see who I really am,

But I’ll be dead by then, fading like sand.

Perhaps these things were small in your eyes,

But to me, they meant the world, a truth disguised.

Even if I screamed my truth, there's no one to hear.

I forgave you before you even spoke,

But the ache remains, like burning flames in my throat.

I don't hate you, I just can’t accept,

That love still hurts, and my last hope couldn't be kept.

How long will I grasp for friends and family to not leave me alone,

For even a moment, because I can't stay alone with you to haunt me?

It’s just so hard to accept these still happen even if you are true

It seems, in the end, all love did for me was beat me black and blue.

© 2025 Inaba Tarek